Another all time favorite film of mine, Amelie, it is in my top 10. If you have seen this film you may know that Yann Tiersen is the genius behind the original score…Nothing compares, he is an amazing musician. He is actually coming out with a live rock album and DVD on November 13th, which is exciting news to me, I can’t wait.

I have decided to make this favorite film/track a weekly feature…

I didn’t have a very good day at all…Work sucked, I won’t bore you with the details…My mom said a terrible ridiculous comment to me today that really hurt, I was telling her about my car and how much all the repairs cost (because she asked) I told her (approx. $600) So she responds with, “how come brakes were…blah blah blah blah blah blah…blah” Then I told her all that was done to my car…And that’s when she said, “Well you shouldn’t have allowed it to get that bad.”

WTF?

I told her BEFORE I drove for three fucking hours there and back to that retreat just to be with her that my brakes were going bad!!!!
We went back and forth but I realized my voice was beginning to raise uncontrollably so I quickly ended the conversation and hung up the phone.

I just feel so defeated…Not just with my mom, with everything.

Like Amelie I need to take some risks but I am so scared…One of these risks is approaching my boss about a raise. I am quite confident usually in my work setting, I am an extremely hard worker yet I can’t march my ass into that office and stand up for myself…

If anyone has any advice on how I should go about approaching this, I am all ears. But for now I point you in the direction of Sur Le Fil off the 2001 Amelie Soundtrack . This song has brought me to tears on more than one occasion just because it is so beautiful. Enjoy. :)

Yann Tiersen – Sur Le Fil (mp3 expired)

Amelie Soundtrack

Comments

6 Responses to “All Time Favorite #2”

  1. fb on November 9th, 2006 8:06 am

    Hi Rachel!

    It is SO hard to think about asking for a raise, but your boss most likely knows how hard you work and wants you to succeed. And in most cases he or she will understand that you asking for more money means that you are dedicated and committed–the best kind of employee.

    It sounds like you are trying to find the right moment to bring it up, but usually it’s better to be more formal and ask for a meeting. This gives your boss some advance notice that you want to talk about your salary so they can think about it and be prepared.

    Good luck!

  2. FiL on November 9th, 2006 1:50 pm

    Yes, Fraser speaks sense. Asking for a specific meeting to discuss your compensation is the way to go. As a manager, I can tell you I far prefer getting a heads-up, as it allows me to consider the matter.

    As to the meeting itself, try to get your boss on side, rather than confronting him/her. Position it as a problem that you’d like his/her help with, not a demand that you are making of him/her. Prior to any conversation, it also would be best to give some thought as to what you might say to illustrate your case. Things you may want to consider:

    1) When was your last raise?

    2) How have your responsibilities evolved since then?

    3) What is the market paying someone in your position? How far behind is your salary in comparison? I don’t recommend threatening to jump ship, but it is valid to point out if you are being undervalued. As an example, I once approached my boss and said “Look, I really like working here, and especially for you, but I really do feel my compensation has not kept pace with the market. I feel this is beginning to affect my motivation, and I feel bad about that.” It was true (not just a lie to get more moolah) and truth be told it had the desired effect.

    4) What specific achievements might you want to refer to to bolster your case, if needed?

    I hope these help. Of course an alternative is to grab your boss by the throat and threaten to throw him/her into a pit of rabid armadillos unless he/she coughs up your weight in gold. But that just might backfire.

    As for Mommie Dearest, sigh… All to familiar. I know it’s hard, but do try to detatch yourself from the conversation and assess what might be behind what she’s saying. She’s probably projecting her issues onto you. Once you get there, the next step is to realise that that’s her issue, not yours. I don’t know if this will help or dismay you, but it took me a good 15 years to get to that point. Actually, it took me 14 years to internalize that’s what I needed to do, and a year to do it. Maybe that makes it easier to digest.

    And finally, I must download the track when I get home. After all, it’s got my name all over it… ;)

  3. Mentok the Mind-taker on November 9th, 2006 4:32 pm

    Wow, Fil, that’s a side of you – “sensible management-level adult” – we don’t see too often. Great advice, too.

    Rach, great choice of tune. I felt like I was drifting away. I ran it on a loop for half an hour as soon as I downloaded it.

    Mothers…my, we could really turn this into a great session of comparing war wounds if we wanted to. I view my mother as a big black cloud of bad karma. She seems to spread unhappiness wherever she goes. I try to just stay serene, stay positive and try not to let her infect me.

    So, you are not alone at least. It’s hard, I know.

  4. Rachel on November 9th, 2006 9:57 pm

    but usually it’s better to be more formal and ask for a meeting. This gives your boss some advance notice that you want to talk about your salary so they can think about it and be prepared.
    fb,
    This is an excellent point, thank you kindly :)

    FiL,
    Thank you so much for your words…Check your e-mail.

    I ran it on a loop for half an hour as soon as I downloaded it.
    Mentok,
    That is awesome! I am so glad you enjoyed it so. Even with printer problems, e-mail malfunctions and clients calling about the web site not working…your comment made me so happy. Except hearing that you can relate to my “Mother” experience is not that great, but it still feels good to know that I am not alone. :)

  5. Chad on November 10th, 2006 10:10 am

    sorry to hear about your bad day, hopefully things are looking up by now!

    good luck with the raise-asking! :)

  6. mjrc on November 10th, 2006 8:23 pm

    oh my god, i pray that my children do not refer to me someday as “a big black cloud of bad karma.” yikes.

    why is it so hard to get along with our mothers or, conversely, to be a mother who’s gotten along with? i don’t think they intentionally mean to cause such pain (i know i don’t) but they (we) manage to do it regardless. ugh. i need a song for that!

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